Good morning everyone...
Here it is, Saturday again, and a long weekend (thank you Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr).
I will have to tell everyone, that for the first time in several years I have placed a bet on the upcoming Capitol classic. There is a mountainqueer fan at work that gave me Marshall and 8 points. I will enjoy my winnings (1 cup of starbucks coffee).
There are some upcoming dinner plans with some friends. The last time we went out was the "disaster at huntington prime." This one should turn out better. I am thinking saki and sushi, or perhaps the Dog Track for cheap steak night (Prime Rib or filet). Since Travis reads this I am sure he will let me know his thoughts on the matter.
Here you go, Ginger...
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise.
Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills