Saturday, February 25, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #129

Good morning everyone...

Another weekend has arrived. The weekends are always so much better than the weekdays. I enjoy lounging around the house (and the company) without the hustle and bustle of the work environment.

The weekend plans for here are...wait, I don't have any plans. I guess this means I will start the weekend with a few cups of coffee and some breakfast. When that is done I will enter the fast paced world of.."lets just wait and see what happens."

I do have a message for everyone out there in the mainstream...see you Monday.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.. On any land !
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ !"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #128

Good morning everyone...

Another Saturday and here we are...expecting a snow storm.I am looking forward to it.

Let's talk about last weekend. Jackie took me to Greenbo Lake and we stayed all night at the Lodge. The Paramount Arts theater group were presenting a play and there was a dinner buffet...What a fantastic evening.

The plans for this weekend are pretty for the snowfall to begin. I think I need to plan a short trip for Jackie and I. The last one was great.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.

One said, "Since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."

Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."

The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #127

Good morning everyone...

Did it really snow? Not even enough to shovel. This morning the house is somewhat quiet. The cats are sitting by the back glass looking at a bird on the back deck. I am sure if the bird would jump towards them they would flee in terror.

The coffee is very good this morning. Since it is very cold outside I appreciate the hot coffee (not that I've been outside). I am still unsure of today's plans, however the day is young...and so is Jackie (notice I didn't say anything about me?).

Here's a chuckle to start your day....

A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.

That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.

At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'

Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'

The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'

'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #126

Good morning everyone,

Another Saturday has arrived. Jackie has been up before dawn and has already consumed almost a full pot of coffee. She is currently brewing another. If it were summer, I would give her a water hose and a sponge and put out a sign that said.."Hand car wash..$10.00" No more mortgage in just a few hours...:)

On a more serious is Saturday and I am not going to be serious.

It is time to make my SUPERBOWL prediction...



Here's a chuckle to start your day...

On the last day of school before the Christmas break, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a beautiful basket of assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a huge, pretty box of asst.candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No" the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked "Champagne?"

"No" said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills