Saturday, March 26, 2011

Saturday Morning Reflection #82

Good morning everyone,

Snow!? Snow?! What in the world is going on????

The coffee this morning is very good and the cat races are going on...not really sure which one is winning...not even sure it matters. The hotel reservations are made for the fishing trip in April. I can hardly wait.

Summer is almost here and the nightcrawlers are becoming more and more scared. I imagine my picture is hanging in the nightcrawler post office and I am listed as a mass murderer.

Here's a chuckle to start out your day....
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.

"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you"

"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it on the forehead and let it go"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Saturday Morning Reflection #81

Good morning everyone...

Appears as if the wind blew last night.

There are so many good choices for the first fishing trip of the year we are having trouble deciding. The newest discussion involves running south and fishing for a weekend. I like that idea because it can happen sooner (and in better weather)...although, I do love Port Clinton.

This morning I fed the cats...Jackie's cat looked at what I gave him and covered it like he would something in the litter box. Then he went into the bedroom with Jackie. When she got up and gave him some food he ate it and is now the happy fat contented cat. He is an ass.

Jackie says I am not allowed to talk bad about her cat...I am not...I am typing.

Here's a chuckle to start your day off...

Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.

Nothing seemed to work.

Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.

"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, I do," the patient replied.

"Very well, then," the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"

"Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger ... "Dead men do bleed!!"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Saturday Morning Reflection #80

Good morning everyone,

When I got up this morning and looked into the back lake...I realized why I have flood insurance...its to keep me from filling sandbags to keep the water out of my house. I think it might not get into the basement (or take out the heating unit) but, it will be close.

There is no sleeping in around my house....the cats were determined to get me up this a.m. Josie worked feverishly knocking everything of the nightstand and Ale attacked my feet. I was forced to pet them...only that wasn't enough. Apparently they wanted cat food. I think I will wake them several times today when they try to sleep.

Kenny and I talked about hitting Lake Eerie...soon it will be walleye time and I can hardly wait. It might be just a little cold still...might be a couple more weeks.

Here's a chuckle to get your day going....

There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child.

One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.

A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked.

Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?"

No more problem.

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Saturday Morning Reflection #79

Good morning everyone...

The countdown has begun, in less than 30 days there will be another driver in the house.

I know the weather people say it is going to rain, but I just can't help but to love this time of year. It is almost spring (should be named walleye season) and I am so ready for it. I bet there is a weekend trip to Lake Eerie rapidly approaching. Should I call now and make dinner reservations at The Garden....For those of you that know (Adam)...This is the year I get a beer glass from there.

Here you go, Ginger...
An elephant and a crocodile were swimming in the jungle, when the elephant spots a turtle sunning himself on a rock. The elephant walks over to the turtle, picks him up in his trunk and hurls him far into the jungle.

"What did you do that for?" asked the crocodile.

The elephant answered, "That turtle was the one that bit me almost fifty years ago."

The crocodile said, "And you remembered him after all these years? Boy, you sure do have a good memory."

"Yep," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills