Saturday, December 25, 2010

Saturday Morning Reflection #69

Good morning everyone..

Merry Christmas to all.

This morning I want to simply say that today is and has been a wonderful day. The coffee is good and the company is fantastic. I relish every moment I have to spend with all of the members of my family. I miss those that have moved on to new adventures in another life.

Let the snow pile up...I just ain't worried about it. I can smell the turkey cooking and it makes my belly rumble.

Just for the lighter side of things...Alex Cat and Josie Cat are both jacked up on catnip.

Here you go, Ginger...

A minister was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."

Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The minister breathed a sigh of relief and called on him.

"Well," said the boy, "I know the answer you're looking for is supposed to be 'Jesus' ... but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Saturday Morning Reflection #68

Good morning everyone...

Old man winter has grasped the Tri state area firmly in his hand and is attempting to freeze us out. I am certainly looking forward to spring. This year will hold many surprises and, I hope, lots of adventures.

The coffe is very good this morning (and the company). Seems as if the weekends fly by way too quickly. There are so many things that need to be done and I complete so few of them. Are the tasks really that difficult or am I just that lazy? Please...everyone DO NOT answer that.

I am looking forward to Christmas this year. It will be a good time at the house. I am actually in the Christmas spirit...not "SPIRITS' as so many of you are thinking right now. Although I will admit to having a glass of wine every now and then.

Here you go, Ginger...

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked. "Oh, yes, Granddad, it was really wonderful. We didn't see a single asshole, blind bastard, dipshit or son of a bitch anywhere we went!"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Saturday Morning Reflection #67

Good morning everyone...

Seems as if winter has gripped the area and the snow will attack us again. I am already sick of the snow. Enough talk about the weather...

Everyone already knows Jackie. There is some BIG NEWS. She is going to have a .....GRAND BABY...Yes, Jackie is going to be a MAW MAW. Does that officially make her old? There has been some discussion about all of this and the conclusion is that we have no control in this matter. The baby will be born whenever it wants matter what we say. She is already looking at cribs and stuff.....

Today is the day I will finish my Christmas shopping. I am not sure what I will be getting Jackie, although I have already obtained some presents. Gonna have to work on this some.

Here you go, Ginger...
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Saturday Morning Reflection #66

Good morning everyone...

The first item for this post is a mention of someone who just passed on. My friend, Nena Lanning, passed away this week after a bout with cancer. I will not go through the things normally said of someone that has passed away and simply say that she will be missed.RIP

Friday night, Jackie and I met some friends at a local Huntington eatery. Huntington Prime. Let me just say this...I have eaten better food in Army field kitchens. The swill they tried to serve was awful. Everyone at the table received baked potatoes that were cold. The waiter returned them to the kitchen and they were returned on warm plates...of course the potatoes were still cold. I also learned that it is acceptable to serve scallops that have the consistency of pudding, and if you are making a cream sauce and it breaks...simply add more roasted pepper. The Filets appeared to be pre cooked as the one I had was somewhat warm on the outside yet very cold on the inside. Jackie ordered a beef and seafood skewer. The goop (is that a culinary term?) that the skewer was dipped in had a distinct maple flavor. Sounds good except it was listed as a rosemary and butter sauce. The couple at the table beside of us complained about their desserts. We all left and went to applebees to complete the meal. I actually had an appetizer for dinner (from Applebees) since I wouldn't eat the trash Huntington Prime was serving. It should also be noted that NO manager or owner came to see what was wrong. I won't be going back.

Here you go, Ginger

It was our pals birthday, so we decided to call him up and sing "Happy Birthday."

Only trouble was we dialed the wrong number.

"Don't let it bother you." said the voice on the other end, just before he hung up, "You need all the practice you can get."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills