A Beautiful Day

Today was another Beautiful Day. Today I was sad. I remember all of those I have left behind. I remember those I have seen killed and want so desperately for them to experience the sunshine I saw today. I am sitting right here, right now, and can hear my wife and kids. That is a joy those I left behind will never know. She who shall remain nameless and I went to see Sylvia Brown. Ms Brown talks about temples on the other side and life after death. I certainly want her to be right. I want to face these people and tell them all of the things I should have. I want them to know that I didn't choose to stay. It seems as if one of us just got lucky. I stayed behind..I drank to much,partied to hard, didn't care enough, and laid waste to almost every life I touched. That really isn't me, or at least it didn't used to be. I look back now and am not overly proud of the things I have done. I see huge holes in my memory and sometimes wonder WHY am I here in this Living? Hell.

She who shall remain nameless loves me, and for the life of me I don't understand why. By the same token, I really love her. She puts up with me, and maybe even understands. OK, enough rambling. It is time to return to life. Someday, I will see all of those I am writing about tonight. I sure hope so. For those of you that know me, please smile and pretend that you read this and understand. For those of you that don't know me, I might be right beside you. Be kind to each other. Love your spouse. Teach the children. Do it for those that were left behind.

Tonight, I am not paying the bills. I am paying homage, to those that were left behind.

troy