Good morning everyone...
Well, here it is...another Saturday morning. I wonder who ordered this weather? We should call them and thank them.
The cat races are already finished here...not sure exactly who won, but judging from the amount of sleeping they are both exhausted.
Today will be a busy day for Jackie...officially she will be attending her 1st birthday party as Maw-Maw. Miss Haleigh (commonly referred to as Little Miss Thunder diapers) will be 1 year old...today. Last night, Jackie and I were discussing this and I told her I couldn't hardly wait until I got to feed the baby her first Pickled Egg...watch for it...its coming.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her.
She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit.
"But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay."
She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.
After another year, though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual.
In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby. She worked for a week or two, but then said, "I am definitely leaving this time."
"Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of the house.
"No," she said, "there are just too many kids here to pick up after."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Saturday Morning Reflection #131
Good morning everyone...
The grandbaby stayed last night...this morning she has discovered a new way to soften the dry cat food before she eats it...she dips it in the cats water bowl. Mawmaw says she is wearing down. I think if Mawmaw says "No No" many more times the baby will believe its her name.
I won't be writing too much today...there is more action here (this morning) than at a 2.00 whorehouse outside a Navy base on a payday weekend.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.
Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?"
"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation.
"Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"
"Well," said Johnny, "I do not know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
The grandbaby stayed last night...this morning she has discovered a new way to soften the dry cat food before she eats it...she dips it in the cats water bowl. Mawmaw says she is wearing down. I think if Mawmaw says "No No" many more times the baby will believe its her name.
I won't be writing too much today...there is more action here (this morning) than at a 2.00 whorehouse outside a Navy base on a payday weekend.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.
Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?"
"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation.
"Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"
"Well," said Johnny, "I do not know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Saturday Morning Reflection #130
Good morning everyone...
Here it is another beautiful Saturday. Spring is so close I checked the DNR website for the Trout stocking schedules. I figure it won't be long until some rainbows are cooking on the stove. I bet the cats think thats a good idea also.
It is now official...Jackie is going to be a Grandmother...again. Does this mean she is the upgraded version? Mawmaw2
The day is sunny and beautiful. I am going to get out of here and get some stuff done.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
The hurricanes that hit the Gulf Coast of our nation were devastating.
It did not spare the houses of worship in and around the area.
One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview
with a woman from New Orleans .
The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate.
She asked the woman:
“How such total and complete devastation of the Churches in the area had affected their lives?”
Without hesitation, the woman replied,
"I don't know about all those other people,
But we ain't gone to Churches in years. "We git our chicken from Popeye's".
The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.
They're out there, they live among us, AND THEY VOTE.
Now you understand how we got our president?
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Here it is another beautiful Saturday. Spring is so close I checked the DNR website for the Trout stocking schedules. I figure it won't be long until some rainbows are cooking on the stove. I bet the cats think thats a good idea also.
It is now official...Jackie is going to be a Grandmother...again. Does this mean she is the upgraded version? Mawmaw2
The day is sunny and beautiful. I am going to get out of here and get some stuff done.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
The hurricanes that hit the Gulf Coast of our nation were devastating.
It did not spare the houses of worship in and around the area.
One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview
with a woman from New Orleans .
The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate.
She asked the woman:
“How such total and complete devastation of the Churches in the area had affected their lives?”
Without hesitation, the woman replied,
"I don't know about all those other people,
But we ain't gone to Churches in years. "We git our chicken from Popeye's".
The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.
They're out there, they live among us, AND THEY VOTE.
Now you understand how we got our president?
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Saturday Morning Reflection #129
Good morning everyone...
Another weekend has arrived. The weekends are always so much better than the weekdays. I enjoy lounging around the house (and the company) without the hustle and bustle of the work environment.
The weekend plans for here are...wait, I don't have any plans. I guess this means I will start the weekend with a few cups of coffee and some breakfast. When that is done I will enter the fast paced world of.."lets just wait and see what happens."
I do have a message for everyone out there in the mainstream...see you Monday.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.. On any land !
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ !"
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Another weekend has arrived. The weekends are always so much better than the weekdays. I enjoy lounging around the house (and the company) without the hustle and bustle of the work environment.
The weekend plans for here are...wait, I don't have any plans. I guess this means I will start the weekend with a few cups of coffee and some breakfast. When that is done I will enter the fast paced world of.."lets just wait and see what happens."
I do have a message for everyone out there in the mainstream...see you Monday.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.. On any land !
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ !"
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Saturday Morning Reflection #128
Good morning everyone...
Another Saturday and here we are...expecting a snow storm.I am looking forward to it.
Let's talk about last weekend. Jackie took me to Greenbo Lake and we stayed all night at the Lodge. The Paramount Arts theater group were presenting a play and there was a dinner buffet...What a fantastic evening.
The plans for this weekend are pretty simple...watch for the snowfall to begin. I think I need to plan a short trip for Jackie and I. The last one was great.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.
One said, "Since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Another Saturday and here we are...expecting a snow storm.I am looking forward to it.
Let's talk about last weekend. Jackie took me to Greenbo Lake and we stayed all night at the Lodge. The Paramount Arts theater group were presenting a play and there was a dinner buffet...What a fantastic evening.
The plans for this weekend are pretty simple...watch for the snowfall to begin. I think I need to plan a short trip for Jackie and I. The last one was great.
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.
One said, "Since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Saturday Morning Reflection #127
Good morning everyone...
Did it really snow? Not even enough to shovel. This morning the house is somewhat quiet. The cats are sitting by the back glass looking at a bird on the back deck. I am sure if the bird would jump towards them they would flee in terror.
The coffee is very good this morning. Since it is very cold outside I appreciate the hot coffee (not that I've been outside). I am still unsure of today's plans, however the day is young...and so is Jackie (notice I didn't say anything about me?).
Here's a chuckle to start your day....
A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.
That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.
At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'
Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'
The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'
'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Did it really snow? Not even enough to shovel. This morning the house is somewhat quiet. The cats are sitting by the back glass looking at a bird on the back deck. I am sure if the bird would jump towards them they would flee in terror.
The coffee is very good this morning. Since it is very cold outside I appreciate the hot coffee (not that I've been outside). I am still unsure of today's plans, however the day is young...and so is Jackie (notice I didn't say anything about me?).
Here's a chuckle to start your day....
A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.
That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.
At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'
Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'
The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'
'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Saturday Morning Reflection #126
Good morning everyone,
Another Saturday has arrived. Jackie has been up before dawn and has already consumed almost a full pot of coffee. She is currently brewing another. If it were summer, I would give her a water hose and a sponge and put out a sign that said.."Hand car wash..$10.00" No more mortgage in just a few hours...:)
On a more serious note...Wait...it is Saturday and I am not going to be serious.
It is time to make my SUPERBOWL prediction...
NY GIANTS 21
NE PATRIOTS 14
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
On the last day of school before the Christmas break, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a beautiful basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a huge, pretty box of asst.candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No" the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked "Champagne?"
"No" said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Another Saturday has arrived. Jackie has been up before dawn and has already consumed almost a full pot of coffee. She is currently brewing another. If it were summer, I would give her a water hose and a sponge and put out a sign that said.."Hand car wash..$10.00" No more mortgage in just a few hours...:)
On a more serious note...Wait...it is Saturday and I am not going to be serious.
It is time to make my SUPERBOWL prediction...
NY GIANTS 21
NE PATRIOTS 14
Here's a chuckle to start your day...
On the last day of school before the Christmas break, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a beautiful basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a huge, pretty box of asst.candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No" the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked "Champagne?"
"No" said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
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