Saturday Morning Reflection #119

Good morning everyone...

It's Saturday and Christmas is almost here. YEEHAW!!! This morning I awoke to the aroma of coffee. I was not the first one up. Of course, that means I didn't have to help feed the cats. The company is good, except she keeps laughing at my typing skills...:~

Today, we start the Christmas parties. I believe we are eating at Jackie's sister's house. Everyone knows I never pass up a free meal.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The old man replies, in a thick acccent, "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread."

So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.

So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of bread. "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.

So ... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf of bread with his soup. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks, when he comes to pay. "Wass goot, but you could give just a little more bread," comes the reply once again.

The manager is now obsessed with seeing this customer say that he is satisfied with his meal, so he goes to the bakery, and orders a six-foot-long loaf of bread. When the man comes in as usual the next day, the waitress and the manager cut the loaf in half, butter the entire length of each half, and lay it out along the counter, right next to his bowl of soup. The old man sits down, and devours both his bowl of soup, and both halves of the six-foot-long loaf of bread.

The manager now thinks he will get the answer he is looking for, and when the old man comes up to pay for his meal, the manager asks in the usual way: "How was your meal TODAY, sir?"

The old man replies: "It wass goot as usual, but I see you are back to giving only two slices of bread."


Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday Morning Reflection #118

Good morning everyone...

Christmas is upon us. I just want everyone to know...I only have one more present to pick up and I am done.

The coffee and company (as usual) is good. I am sure that this will be a fantastic weekend. I believe that there are some weekend plans in place. I think a quick road trip is happening...I look forward to it.

Since this is supposed to be a reflection. I was hoping I could get everyone to stop and reflect on the actual reason for this holiday. No, I don't mean the commercialized generic version of Happy Holidays. I mean MERRY CHRISTMAS. This is for those that believe as well as those that do not or might even be unsure. This holiday is about the celebration of the birth of Jesus. I am a believer and I will attempt to be strong with my faith. God bless us all. MERRY CHRISTMAS

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday Morning Reflection #117

Good morning everyone...

Another Saturday filled with the aroma of coffee and the pitter patter of little cat feet going from food dish to litter box.

I cannot believe that there is frost on the ground...already. Where did the summer go?

Late this evening or early on Sunday the location of where the MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD will play its BOWL GAME will be released. I can hardly wait.


Here's a chuckle to start your day...

There were two buddies one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.

The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."

The man at the door says, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua??? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday Morning Reflection #116

Good morning everyone...

Another cold Saturday morning and here I sit with a hot cup of coffee. The company is good. I have perused the usual sites on the computer and must say that I am very PROUD of THE MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD BASKETBALL TEAM. GO HERD!!!!!

Today, the football team will again play for the chance to become BOWL ELIGIBLE. I have watched the football team (and Doc Holliday) steadily improve. I am hoping for a win this year...Next year the Herd fans will demand it. No more being the door mat of Conference USA.

There are no big plans in place for the weekend. Stay warm and find some fun things to do. Wonder what that will be?

Here's a chuckle to start your day....

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Looking worried, Johnny said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday Morning Reflection #115

Good morning everyone...

OK, Who ordered this cold weather...enough already.

Last monday I ended up with another week off work. I am going to try again to go back to work. I will have to say that a week off makes a world of difference. I don't think it will be a problem.

The smell of coffee woke me this morning, Jackie was up before me. I am not sure what the plans are for today, but I am sure that we will not be going swimming.

We do have to make a trip to Roane county. Maybe we can do that today. It looks like it might be a nice day for a drive (with the windows up and the heat on).

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?"

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday Morning Reflection #114

Good morning everyone...

Saturday again. Monday, I actually have to go back to work...I just spent 2 weeks off after having ULNAR NERVE TRANSPOSTION SURGERY. I think it might leave a scar.

The house is filled with baby sounds this morning as Miss Haleigh is here. I bet she wouldn't be so wound up if Maw Maw would quit giving her sips of coffee. See, even the baby likes my coffee.

Maggie is here also and made brownies last night. I DID NOT give any to the baby for breakfast...:)

Travis...I know you are on the road...be safe and give me a call when you get back.


Here's a chuckle to start your day...

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.

When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised it's level of unruliness.

Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.

Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday Morning Reflection #113

Good morning everyone,

Is it really Saturday , again? Seems as if I haven't worked for a week. I know that there are several of you laughing.

Jackie and I are just hanging out and drinking coffee. I suppose we will make some plans before the weekend is over, but you never can tell. Sometimes it is nice to just hang out and do whatever.

The house is very quiet this morning...even the cats are sleeping. Josie is doing her best to get the keyboard off my lap and take its place.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

Back ten centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Muslims had to leave Jerusalem. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Muslim community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Muslim community. If the Muslim won the debate, all the Muslims could stay. If the Pope won, all the Muslims would have to leave.

The Muslims realised that they had no choice. They looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. But they finally picked their representative, an old Mullah who unknowingly agreed without knowing what he was getting himself into. He agreed only on the condition that neither side be allowed to talk but communicate by miming. The pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. The Mullah and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Mullah looked back at him and raised his middle finger..

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Mullah Nasruddin pointed to the ground and stamped his foot.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Mullah pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is too good. The Muslims can stay.'

An hour later, the cardials were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and stamping on it, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple, reminding me of the first sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Muslim community had crowded around the Mullah in total astonishmen. "What happened?" they asked. "Well,"said the Mullah, "First he said to me that we Muslims had three days to leave Jerusalem. I told him up yours. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Muslims. I said none of us leaving this land!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"He took out his lunch and I took out mine," said the Mullah.


Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills