Good morning everyone...
Old man winter has grasped the Tri state area firmly in his hand and is attempting to freeze us out. I am certainly looking forward to spring. This year will hold many surprises and, I hope, lots of adventures.
The coffe is very good this morning (and the company). Seems as if the weekends fly by way too quickly. There are so many things that need to be done and I complete so few of them. Are the tasks really that difficult or am I just that lazy? Please...everyone DO NOT answer that.
I am looking forward to Christmas this year. It will be a good time at the house. I am actually in the Christmas spirit...not "SPIRITS' as so many of you are thinking right now. Although I will admit to having a glass of wine every now and then.
Here you go, Ginger...
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- just him and his granddaughter.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked. "Oh, yes, Granddad, it was really wonderful. We didn't see a single asshole, blind bastard, dipshit or son of a bitch anywhere we went!"
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Saturday Morning Reflection #67
Good morning everyone...
Seems as if winter has gripped the area and the snow will attack us again. I am already sick of the snow. Enough talk about the weather...
Everyone already knows Jackie. There is some BIG NEWS. She is going to have a .....GRAND BABY...Yes, Jackie is going to be a MAW MAW. Does that officially make her old? There has been some discussion about all of this and the conclusion is that we have no control in this matter. The baby will be born whenever it wants to...no matter what we say. She is already looking at cribs and stuff.....
Today is the day I will finish my Christmas shopping. I am not sure what I will be getting Jackie, although I have already obtained some presents. Gonna have to work on this some.
Here you go, Ginger...
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Seems as if winter has gripped the area and the snow will attack us again. I am already sick of the snow. Enough talk about the weather...
Everyone already knows Jackie. There is some BIG NEWS. She is going to have a .....GRAND BABY...Yes, Jackie is going to be a MAW MAW. Does that officially make her old? There has been some discussion about all of this and the conclusion is that we have no control in this matter. The baby will be born whenever it wants to...no matter what we say. She is already looking at cribs and stuff.....
Today is the day I will finish my Christmas shopping. I am not sure what I will be getting Jackie, although I have already obtained some presents. Gonna have to work on this some.
Here you go, Ginger...
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Saturday Morning Reflection #66
Good morning everyone...
The first item for this post is a mention of someone who just passed on. My friend, Nena Lanning, passed away this week after a bout with cancer. I will not go through the things normally said of someone that has passed away and simply say that she will be missed.RIP
Friday night, Jackie and I met some friends at a local Huntington eatery. Huntington Prime. Let me just say this...I have eaten better food in Army field kitchens. The swill they tried to serve was awful. Everyone at the table received baked potatoes that were cold. The waiter returned them to the kitchen and they were returned on warm plates...of course the potatoes were still cold. I also learned that it is acceptable to serve scallops that have the consistency of pudding, and if you are making a cream sauce and it breaks...simply add more roasted pepper. The Filets appeared to be pre cooked as the one I had was somewhat warm on the outside yet very cold on the inside. Jackie ordered a beef and seafood skewer. The goop (is that a culinary term?) that the skewer was dipped in had a distinct maple flavor. Sounds good except it was listed as a rosemary and butter sauce. The couple at the table beside of us complained about their desserts. We all left and went to applebees to complete the meal. I actually had an appetizer for dinner (from Applebees) since I wouldn't eat the trash Huntington Prime was serving. It should also be noted that NO manager or owner came to see what was wrong. I won't be going back.
Here you go, Ginger
It was our pals birthday, so we decided to call him up and sing "Happy Birthday."
Only trouble was we dialed the wrong number.
"Don't let it bother you." said the voice on the other end, just before he hung up, "You need all the practice you can get."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
The first item for this post is a mention of someone who just passed on. My friend, Nena Lanning, passed away this week after a bout with cancer. I will not go through the things normally said of someone that has passed away and simply say that she will be missed.RIP
Friday night, Jackie and I met some friends at a local Huntington eatery. Huntington Prime. Let me just say this...I have eaten better food in Army field kitchens. The swill they tried to serve was awful. Everyone at the table received baked potatoes that were cold. The waiter returned them to the kitchen and they were returned on warm plates...of course the potatoes were still cold. I also learned that it is acceptable to serve scallops that have the consistency of pudding, and if you are making a cream sauce and it breaks...simply add more roasted pepper. The Filets appeared to be pre cooked as the one I had was somewhat warm on the outside yet very cold on the inside. Jackie ordered a beef and seafood skewer. The goop (is that a culinary term?) that the skewer was dipped in had a distinct maple flavor. Sounds good except it was listed as a rosemary and butter sauce. The couple at the table beside of us complained about their desserts. We all left and went to applebees to complete the meal. I actually had an appetizer for dinner (from Applebees) since I wouldn't eat the trash Huntington Prime was serving. It should also be noted that NO manager or owner came to see what was wrong. I won't be going back.
Here you go, Ginger
It was our pals birthday, so we decided to call him up and sing "Happy Birthday."
Only trouble was we dialed the wrong number.
"Don't let it bother you." said the voice on the other end, just before he hung up, "You need all the practice you can get."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Saturday Morning Reflection #65
Good morning everyone...
I hope everyone had a wonderful Turkey Day. Everything in Proctorville went very well.
Is everyone ready to send the MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD SENIORS out with a bang? I hope everyone is able to make the game and cheer on a MARSHALL victory...
WE ARE!!!!
MARSHALL!!!!!
The next big holiday to look forward to is Christmas. I am looking forward to this one. I expect that soon the tree will be up....and I think this year there may be more than just a cookie ornament on it...Those of you that know about the cookie ...just smile. Those of you that don't and are interested just call and I will tell you the story.
Even though Christmas is next New Year's plans are being made. This New Years Eve is gonna be a blast. I imagine there will be a story or two involved.
Here you go, Ginger...
The Switchman
A guy named Pete gets a job as a switchman with the railroad, and undergoes weeks of training. The supervisor then takes him into the switch booth to test his readiness. The following exchange takes place:
Supervisor: "Imagine you were sitting here alone and you learned there was a train coming from the North on that track, and another coming from the South on the same track. What would you do?"
Pete: "I'd throw this switch right here and put one train on the other track."
Supervisor: And what if that switch didn't work?"
Pete: "I'd go down to the track and throw that big switchlever there, putting one train on the other track."
Supervisor: "And what if that switchlever didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd come back here and call the dispatcher to stop both trains."
Supervisor: "And what if the phone didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd go to that gas station across the street and use their phone."
Supervisor: "And what if their phone didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd go get Uncle Joe."
Supervisor: "Uncle Joe??? What would he do?"
Pete: "Nothing, but he ain't never seen a train wreck."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
I hope everyone had a wonderful Turkey Day. Everything in Proctorville went very well.
Is everyone ready to send the MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD SENIORS out with a bang? I hope everyone is able to make the game and cheer on a MARSHALL victory...
WE ARE!!!!
MARSHALL!!!!!
The next big holiday to look forward to is Christmas. I am looking forward to this one. I expect that soon the tree will be up....and I think this year there may be more than just a cookie ornament on it...Those of you that know about the cookie ...just smile. Those of you that don't and are interested just call and I will tell you the story.
Even though Christmas is next New Year's plans are being made. This New Years Eve is gonna be a blast. I imagine there will be a story or two involved.
Here you go, Ginger...
The Switchman
A guy named Pete gets a job as a switchman with the railroad, and undergoes weeks of training. The supervisor then takes him into the switch booth to test his readiness. The following exchange takes place:
Supervisor: "Imagine you were sitting here alone and you learned there was a train coming from the North on that track, and another coming from the South on the same track. What would you do?"
Pete: "I'd throw this switch right here and put one train on the other track."
Supervisor: And what if that switch didn't work?"
Pete: "I'd go down to the track and throw that big switchlever there, putting one train on the other track."
Supervisor: "And what if that switchlever didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd come back here and call the dispatcher to stop both trains."
Supervisor: "And what if the phone didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd go to that gas station across the street and use their phone."
Supervisor: "And what if their phone didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd go get Uncle Joe."
Supervisor: "Uncle Joe??? What would he do?"
Pete: "Nothing, but he ain't never seen a train wreck."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday Morning Reflection #64
Good morning everyone...
This morning I am up early. Seems as if Jackie and I have a million things to do. We might get some of them done. Lets start this morning by talking about THE MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD. How about another win!!
WE ARE!!!!!
MARSHALL!!!!!!
The weather justs keeps getting colder. It seems to make me depressed with winter fast approaching. I am ready for some more summer.
Work has been going pretty well. I can't really complain, although I seem to be busier and busier. The job itself is not really bad.
Life appears to be just normal. There really isn't much to cover. I think the best things happen on the weekend and the time I spend at work is simply my punishment for vacation and time off. This weekend...the cats are going to the vet. I am sure they will NOT be pleased with us.
Here you go, Ginger...
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
This morning I am up early. Seems as if Jackie and I have a million things to do. We might get some of them done. Lets start this morning by talking about THE MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD. How about another win!!
WE ARE!!!!!
MARSHALL!!!!!!
The weather justs keeps getting colder. It seems to make me depressed with winter fast approaching. I am ready for some more summer.
Work has been going pretty well. I can't really complain, although I seem to be busier and busier. The job itself is not really bad.
Life appears to be just normal. There really isn't much to cover. I think the best things happen on the weekend and the time I spend at work is simply my punishment for vacation and time off. This weekend...the cats are going to the vet. I am sure they will NOT be pleased with us.
Here you go, Ginger...
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Saturday Morning Reflection #63
Good morning everyone,
The weekend has arrived again. I like it. Today, I hope to watch a MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD VICTORY over Memphis.
This morning let us take a minute to observe the tragic loss of November 14, 1970. The plane crash forever changed the landscape of college football and will touch lives for generations to come. Please, no matter which team you are a fan of...take a moment from your life and give a small prayer for those that left us that day and the loved ones that were left behind.
Seems as if vacation planning is always very close to the main topic of conversation at the house. The plans also seem to be coming together. Looks as if there will be plenty of fishing and lots of sight seeing coming up. New years plans have also been decided on...that will be a blast. Might even be a few pictures to post.
Here you go, Ginger...
A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim.
"It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..."
"This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my kid sister will appreciate it."
"Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
The weekend has arrived again. I like it. Today, I hope to watch a MARSHALL UNIVERSITY THUNDERING HERD VICTORY over Memphis.
This morning let us take a minute to observe the tragic loss of November 14, 1970. The plane crash forever changed the landscape of college football and will touch lives for generations to come. Please, no matter which team you are a fan of...take a moment from your life and give a small prayer for those that left us that day and the loved ones that were left behind.
Seems as if vacation planning is always very close to the main topic of conversation at the house. The plans also seem to be coming together. Looks as if there will be plenty of fishing and lots of sight seeing coming up. New years plans have also been decided on...that will be a blast. Might even be a few pictures to post.
Here you go, Ginger...
A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim.
"It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..."
"This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my kid sister will appreciate it."
"Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Saturday Morning Reflection #62
Good morning everyone...
The elections are over. The ads are no longer running. The President got his ass handed to him, and yet, many of the lower end of the ?American? people insist that the results were not a true representation of what America really wants. What part of ...you got your ass kicked do they not understand? I am going to say that if the President does not do what the American people want then he will be a one term President. My only question is....When he is voted out of office will all of the namby pamby socialist muslim whiny cry babies say that is not what the American people really wanted?
Tonight, Jackie amd I are going to the comedy club. I am sure it will be a blast. I might even LET her take me out to dinner. Probably someplace expensive.
Here you go Ginger...
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
The elections are over. The ads are no longer running. The President got his ass handed to him, and yet, many of the lower end of the ?American? people insist that the results were not a true representation of what America really wants. What part of ...you got your ass kicked do they not understand? I am going to say that if the President does not do what the American people want then he will be a one term President. My only question is....When he is voted out of office will all of the namby pamby socialist muslim whiny cry babies say that is not what the American people really wanted?
Tonight, Jackie amd I are going to the comedy club. I am sure it will be a blast. I might even LET her take me out to dinner. Probably someplace expensive.
Here you go Ginger...
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills
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