Saturday, March 31, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #134

Good morning everyone...

Spring is here...The Rose bush in the front yard should look GREAT this year (pictures to follow).

Breakfast this morning is going to be Corned Beef Hash and Eggs...Jackie's favorite.

I am looking forward to starting my day. Seems like in the summer I just wanna go out side and play. I think I am going to get moving...

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

A filthy rich man in Florida decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Bubba, the only redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who is brave enough to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Bubba in the pool!

Bubba was fighting the gator and kicking its hide! Bubba was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Bubba and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Bubba strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish. Bubba then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well, Bubba, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Bubba.

The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"

"No thanks. I don't want it," answered Bubba.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Bubba said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Bubba, then what do you want?"

Bubba said, "I want the name of the SOB who pushed me in the pool."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #133

Good morning everyone...

Saturday again..feels good not to be at work.

This mornings breakfast was muffins (from a local coffee shop).

No really big plans for today...I am not sure just what I am going to do today. I might clean the inside of the truck....after the coffee pot is emptied.

Jackie has been complaining that Alex Cat is spoiled. She opened the fridge and he ran in there...begging for bacon pieces...maybe I should change that to DEMANDING BACON PIECES. I am not sure how he got spoiled that way.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."

"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew.

"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #132

Good morning everyone...

Well, here it is...another Saturday morning. I wonder who ordered this weather? We should call them and thank them.

The cat races are already finished here...not sure exactly who won, but judging from the amount of sleeping they are both exhausted.

Today will be a busy day for Jackie...officially she will be attending her 1st birthday party as Maw-Maw. Miss Haleigh (commonly referred to as Little Miss Thunder diapers) will be 1 year Last night, Jackie and I were discussing this and I told her I couldn't hardly wait until I got to feed the baby her first Pickled for it...its coming.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her.

She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit.

"But why?" asked the disappointed wife.

She hemmed and hawed and said she didn't want to say, but the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well, on my day off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."

The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband and I don't have any children, and we'll adopt your baby if you will stay."

She talked to her husband; he agreed, and the maid said she would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.

After another year, though, the maid came in again and said that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual.

In a few months, however, she again said she would have to leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby. She worked for a week or two, but then said, "I am definitely leaving this time."

"Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the lady of the house.

"No," she said, "there are just too many kids here to pick up after."
Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #131

Good morning everyone...

The grandbaby stayed last night...this morning she has discovered a new way to soften the dry cat food before she eats it...she dips it in the cats water bowl. Mawmaw says she is wearing down. I think if Mawmaw says "No No" many more times the baby will believe its her name.

I won't be writing too much today...there is more action here (this morning) than at a 2.00 whorehouse outside a Navy base on a payday weekend.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.

Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?"

"A box of Tampax," he replied without hesitation.

"Tampax?" said the doctor. "What would you do with that?"

"Well," said Johnny, "I do not know exactly, but it's sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to."

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Saturday Morning Reflection #130

Good morning everyone...

Here it is another beautiful Saturday. Spring is so close I checked the DNR website for the Trout stocking schedules. I figure it won't be long until some rainbows are cooking on the stove. I bet the cats think thats a good idea also.

It is now official...Jackie is going to be a Grandmother...again. Does this mean she is the upgraded version? Mawmaw2

The day is sunny and beautiful. I am going to get out of here and get some stuff done.

Here's a chuckle to start your day...

The hurricanes that hit the Gulf Coast of our nation were devastating.
It did not spare the houses of worship in and around the area.

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview
with a woman from New Orleans .
The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate.
She asked the woman:
“How such total and complete devastation of the Churches in the area had affected their lives?”

Without hesitation, the woman replied,
"I don't know about all those other people,
But we ain't gone to Churches in years. "We git our chicken from Popeye's".

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.
They're out there, they live among us, AND THEY VOTE.
Now you understand how we got our president?

Well, until the next time...please remember that I have to pay the bills